letter for zac

Time passed. And so does life. We walk through our lives and we run from our fears and we gather our spirits and courage. We defeat the fear and we live. Live till the end. Directions exist for us to choose. A straight line- a path, a very straight path is just that- a straight line that seems endless. Does it have an end? If it does, what is the end? There are so many things we discovered in life. Some things bring happiness and some bring sadness. Sometimes we hope all or some of our discoveries remain undiscovered because the pain is too much. But the happiness that lies before the painful end is just too precious. If we can see through the pain, we will see a happier happiness. Life, after all, has a very unpredictable end. Dear Zac, I am writing this alone after I think everything thoroughly. I realized that I have fallen in love with you, Zachary Brandon Alexander. You lightened my dim life like the sun in a hot, bright summer days. I didn’t even know you yet but I could feel every pieces of me running to find you when you start to write to me and I did come, didn’t I? You made me fall in love in just a second. I’m not going to lie. There was someone else in my life before you came. I let the darkness swallow me after he left. I was covered in bleeding wound and bruises. You came and saved me. I was already recovering but it was a very slow recovery and my life became dim and it was enough for me to see. You healed me with your love. You were like my medicine. I am forever grateful and thank you for healing me. I appreciate it but then you poisoned me. I appreciate what you’ve done but you should just leave me in the dim light of my life and you should just let my wounds bleed than saving and healing me and then leave a more bleeding wound and leave me in the dark again. Once I read all the unexpected words that she wrote, I felt like my love, my life and everything crushed to dust. You betrayed me while I was sitting all alone in a corner of the world, thinking of you. We’re just not meant to be. I believed your excuses for being unfaithful: you were under the influence of alcohol and you thought she was me but still. Sometimes, once we were separated, forever we will be separated- no matter what. I want to come to you and hold you in my arms and pretend that all of this never happened but I can’t. I know we live in different country but that wasn’t the real reason why I can’t come but like I said, we’re just not meant to be. I know you understand the words. She loves you- probably more than I do and she is always there by your side all the time. She can give you what I can’t but this isn’t about the distance. This is about me. This is about us. We never really know each other, do we? This is very hard for me, Zac and maybe this is hard for you, too. But trust me; everything will become smooth in the end. It will be like nothing had ever happened. I hope that you will just forget about me and pretend like I never existed. Pretend that you never know me. I won’t bother you again. Zachary Brandon Alexander, please promise me that you will take good care of her and your baby as my last wish. Promise me you will. Love her and your child. They are important to you. I love you but it doesn’t change anything. Now, goodbye.
MAY THE ROAD RISE TO MEET YOU,
MAY THE WIND BE ALWAYS AT YOUR BACK,
MAY THE SUN SHINE WARM UPON YOUR FACE,
 MAY THE RAIN FALL SOFT UPON YOUR FIELDS,
AND ‘TILL WE MEET AGAIN,
MAY GOD HOLD YOU IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND.
Yours, Hazel Alexandra Bass